Life Update

I don’t know about you guys but aren’t you all freaking out that half of 2017 is *poof* gone already?! And wasn’t it just yesterday when I was soooo freaked out when 2017 came cause I was about to have the biggest moment of my life?!

It doesn’t seem like it but I feel like a lot has happened already and at the same time, they’re still the same old things. I know I don’t make sense but I do hope you get me! Let’s consider this as my 6-month review as I fill you all in and reflect on the first half of the year and how good (or bad) 2017 has treated me so far. I will try to inject a little bit of learnings in each update so maybe you can pick up a thing or two!

I HAVE GOTTEN A BIIIIIIT STRONGER. MENTALLY.

I hope I could start on a more positive note but life is not always full of sunshine and daisies. It may not seem like it but the last few months of 2016 had been the hardest for me and I carried that sadness, anxiety and frustrations over to 2017. You didn’t know, did you? Well, social media is a very good concealer. Despite all the smiles in my selfies, giddy wedding preps updates and funny random posts; a lot was happening to me and they all kept me up at night. I felt helpless, angry, betrayed and exhausted. I let my bed and emotions eat me every single day. I went to work feeling empty and went home feeling empty.  For someone who is very weak, you can just imagine how it got the best of me. I withdrew from all those closest to me, exchanged going out for sleeping, cried myself to sleep and cried again whenever I woke up. I just didn’t know how to deal. In turn, I became a monster. I get cranky at the littlest things, I pushed people away and my skin never felt that dry along with bad puffy eyes. Hahaha! But kidding aside, I was at my worst. And while at some point, I got over crying; I had become very vulnerable to every single thing and so I was also an easy target of self-hate. As if what I was going through wasn’t enough, I made it harder for myself to love myself. I hated my face, hated my weight, hated my hair. I hated everything. I tried to hide everything but I guess one way or another, you’ll succumb to the pain eventually. Only those in the office get to see me as a wreck everyday and they encouraged me to get help from a professional. I was desperate to get out of the rut and so I did, reluctantly at first. I am a Psychology graduate so it was a shame that I felt that seeking help means I am sick. I mean, of all people, how could I, the good daughter, loving bride-to-be and a friend to all, not be okay? I also felt that talking about it with someone is like giving them the key to a box I tucked in secret and exposing all the bad things I tried to hide. Opening this box will make me vulnerable again and I just don’t want my emotions to be all over the place. But I found the courage to seek help and thank God I did. One by one, with help, I tried to piece myself back together. We talked about each feeling that I have and ways on how I can rise above them. I can’t say that I’m all glued up now but I’m getting there not only because I acknowledged what I went through and every single thing I felt but most importantly, because of all the love, care and understanding those close to me have been showering me with.

The main reason why I shared this is not merely because it was a key point in my life but because I want to reach out to all those who are going through bad days that do not seem to end. Please do not be afraid to ask for help like I was because the moment that I accepted help was the moment which turned it all around. Talk to someone, a loved one, a friend, or a counselor.  I hope that if you knew how a very optimistic, very warm and cheerful person like me could go all the depression, anxiety and self-hate… anyone can too. But I also want you to know that if a dependent, weak and sensitive person like me could surpass it… you definitely got this!

And as for everyone else, I hope we can all be kind and willing to lend an ear. You’ll never know what impact you can leave someone who is having a hard time. Please do not dismiss someone’s feelings and think it’s mababaw. We all have different personalities and capabilities of handling things. Something that might seem so trivial to you might mean the whole world to another person. As my favorite mantra goes, “Always be kind; for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”. 😊

Moving on to the next!!!

I MARRIED MY BESTFRIEND!

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Yep! Here comes the good, nope, scratch that, the best part of my 2017. I swear there is nothing like having the wedding of your dreams but marrying the kindest, most patient and most understanding man I know definitely is the cherry on top. God loves me enough to give me the best person out there. Scroll down to see some photos from our special day!

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_MG_0485.jpgI couldn’t walk down the aisle without something that will make me feel that Papa is beside me so I printed out my favorite photo of us and tied it in my bouquet 🙂

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IMG_5225.jpg17098237_10212136928167228_8249651429472856261_n.jpgOur groomsmen and bridesmaids

DSCF3875.JPGMy sister saying something funny again. As usual!

CZ1_1768.jpgCZ1_1739.jpgOur beautiful church

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DSCF4336.jpg        While JM was crying, I was crying too! But I didn’t know if it was because I was overwhelmed or because my walking down the aisle song that JM picked for me (which is Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran, btw) did not play loud enough lol

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_MG_2128.jpg   Our lovely reception venue

IMG_6160.jpgIt was!

IMG_6001.jpg_MG_2027.jpgCZ0_8913.jpg_MG_2346.jpg       It was definitely a magical night spent with our family and loved ones 

I have learned a lot of things during our wedding preps but I’d save that for another blog post! From picking a theme, researching about suppliers down to setting a budget, these may be too overwhelming but as long as you and your fiancé work on all those TOGETHER, wedding preps are actually fun! Aside from the wedding preps, I am constantly learning a thing or two about married life. I learned how to drop my ego, not always put myself first and basically just try to be a better person because it’s been such a long time that JM has been dealing with such a crappy girlfriend so now, I’m trying to be the best wife I can be. *cross fingers!*

I have just been married for almost 6 months so I’m sure I’ll be learning a lot more. For now, here are three things I have learned.

  1. Seek first to understand, then be understood. We all love being right. I know I do. It feels great when you make the other half apologize and admit that they are wrong but too much of always wanting to be right ruins everything. Learn to meet halfway. Two different people in a relationship is bound to disagree at some point but as long as you respect each other and try to acknowledge how you both feel, you can avoid things to get messy.
  2. See the best in your partner and the relationship. JM and I have been together for 8 years and it’s amazing how we are still constantly finding out new things about each other. I recently learned that JM isn’t just too organized for my life but he actually enjoys catering to people. All this time, when I see him packing things for me, cleaning our room, down to organizing my laptop files, I thought he was just plain OC. Yun pala, he just really finds it fulfilling when he helps people out in any way he can. I see JM now in a much better light, not that I haven’t before, but seeing how genuine of a person he is day by day makes me wake up everyday feeling #blessed.
  3. Don’t forget to make time and do fun things together! When we were boyfriend and girlfriend, we never tried traveling with just the two of us. It might be because getting out of work and life in general is just too hard and we’d rather rest during weekends. After getting married, we made sure to travel as much as we can and we love it! Being in new places gives us a high while learning new things about each other. We enjoyed the nature in our recent trip to Cebu, the culture and people of Japan and of course, their food! We will be going to Bohol next month and Vietnam on November and we could not just wait to do all sort of new and fun things together. 🙂 Tip: As airfare prices could get steep, what we do is book when there are airline promotions. Your travel budget could be cut down in half. Committing to travel dates might be tricky especially when you have a job but as I said, you just have to make time. Take your vacation leaves, guys!

Speaking of job..

I HAVE A NEW JOB!

JM actually pushed me to take a break after everything I was dealing with which I think was a good decision because I was able to focus on myself and just reflect. I was working in HR and after I graduated, I had big dreams. I said to myself that I will push myself to grow in the HR field no matter how small I start and so I worked and worked and worked until I do not know what I want anymore. I tried applying for jobs that are waaaaay too far from my career just because I want to and even if most of them seem promising, they still don’t feel right for me. If I pushed thru being a flight attendant, for example, would it really be good at this time when JM and I are still trying to adjust in our married life? JM was very supportive but I was half-hearted so I just took more of my sweet time. It’s amazing how true that things will always fall into place, you just have to have faith in that. From working in HR, I currently am a web researcher. I basically research and rewrite detailed legal contents in the comforts of our home. No dealing with getting up early, rummaging through my closet to look for something to wear and no dealing with traffic? Count me in. Again, #blessed.

So for all of you who seem to be feeling lost in terms of your career… I know we have to lay a good foundation in our professional lives but don’t be too hard on yourself! We don’t need to have everything figured out right now.

And lastly…

WE HAVE A NEW HOME!

This explains why I wasn’t that much active in the cyber world. We have been SO BUSY (and exhausted!) from all the packing, furniture shopping and moving in that I barely have the time to check my phone. Thank God we’re finally settled! We actually decided to move out of Eastwood as we used to live on the 17th floor so imagine the horror during those times when earthquakes were happening almost everyday! We now live in a 2-bedroom townhouse which I love just because it’s so cozy and new! Designing our new home is definitely on my list.

Tip when moving out? Don’t hesitate to declutter. I have always been a very sentimental person so when we were moving out, I found things way back from High School! Letters, pictures, academic papers that I was proud of and even tags of my clothes *rolls eyes* and though it was quite hard for me to throw things away, I realized that we can’t always hold on to things of the past, no matter how beautiful they were. At some point, we just have to let go and make space for new memories. Just like in life! *wink

So that’s it, folks! My little life update. We still have half of 2017 to try and sort things out so let’s all make it count! How about you? What are your little life updates and what did you learn from them? 😊

 

All my love ♥

 

 

 

5 Things I Learned in Cebu

So this was supposed to be a “5 Things That Made Me Enjoy Cebu” blog but that would be such a cliché! Everyone knows the to-dos when in Cebu (btw, that’s exactly what we did: Kawasan canyoneering, Whale Shark watching in Oslob, swam in Sumilon Island, visited Magellan’s Cross, said a prayer at Basilica del Santo Niño, ate at Larsian, had some drinks at La Vie Parisienne, etc). So instead, I’m gonna write about the realizations I had while doing all the tourist-y things in Cebu! 😉

1. Putting down your phone does not equate to boredom.

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JM and I got to Cebu City around 8pm and after having dinner at Zubuchon (Yes, we actually came to an agreement to try every lechon we could), we came across this pinterest-worthy coffee shop in Escario (Café Talk Library). We wanted to kill time so we got ourselves some coffee and played Scrabble. I think this was the only time that I wasn’t constantly checking my phone and wow, it’s been a while since JM and I laughed so hard at each other, like genuinely I-understood-what-you-said-I-did-not-just-nod-or-mumble-something-to-make-it-seem-like-I-was-listening. I know it’s super hard to just be in the moment especially at times when we are so obsessed with social media and the online world seems to be far more interesting than what’s in our faces but I highly suggest that once in a while we just live in the moment. Easier said than done but right now, JM and I practice our “time outs” where we just put our phones down and actually talk to each other. I think it’s a good practice!

2. If you can’t jump… swing.

I am quite sheltered (I’ve never hiked, gone up a mountain, went surfing or scuba diving, etc.), the cozy indoors was my comfort zone so when JM told me that we’re doing canyoneering in Cebu, I swear I spent all day researching about it. What to wear, how long will it take and most importantly…

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True story.

Trekking was easy. I loved it. But jumping at such great heights was so hard for me! I can handle the heights but you know that feeling you get when you ride rollercoasters? That funny feeling in your tummy? Ugh. That, I can’t handle. JM was a natural. He jumped like the 35 ft. fall was nothing! I actually got so frustrated when I froze for an hour with legs that won’t budge. So a little tip guys, the more time you spend at the jumping point, the more chance that fear will conquer you. So just jump!

Or in my case, swing. Hahaha! I mean, realistically speaking, I guess in life you can’t always wing everything so in turn; you make adjustments, or find another way to get you a step closer in facing your fears.

And speaking of fears…

3. You can actually acquire “new fears”.

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I used to ride rollercoasters, enjoy fast bus rides, be able to swim without overthinking what’s down under. Imagine the horror when I started feeling queasy about things like this! I was not able to do cliff jumping in Kawasan. On our way to Oslob, the roads were zigzagged and I swear I felt like we’re gonna fall over to the other end! I thought I’d be brave enough to enjoy watching the whale sharks but in my head, their size was too overwhelming and I know they’re gentle giants but no one can guarantee that they won’t do anything harmful! (People who have watched Blackfish will get me). On top of our various encounters with nature, I got the worst rashes which turned out to be irritant contact dermatitis aka hypersensitivity/allergic reaction to the wilderness so I have to be extra careful when going outdoors.

It’s still a mystery why I suddenly got so paranoid about things… or why I got so physically and mentally sensitive all of a sudden. That definitely goes to my “things-to-think-about” list.

4. Rico’s is the best lechon in Cebu. No one can argue with me on this.

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But if for some reason, Rico’s balat ng lechon + CNT’s  lechon meat + Zubuchon’s spicy filling somehow magically happens, then we’ll talk. 😛

5. The Pyramid is a hidden gem.

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I have read about this restaurant but a friend of mine made sure that we paid a visit. It looks so fancy but their food is actually wallet-friendly! Meals range from P200-P600 per person. The interior, food and service were so on point, we were like “how is it cheap in this place???” Every angle is instagram-worthy!

The Pyramid is located in Central Bloc, Cebu I.T. Park in Lahug and is open from 10 am – 3 am (Sunday-Thursday) and 10am – 4am (Friday-Saturday).

Okay, so I may not have been able to write about the “5 Things That Made Me Enjoy Cebu” but it made me realize what ultimately did… exploring new places with the love of my life (and him not getting tired of my whiny ass)!

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PS: To make up for not sharing much about the things we did, JM made a little video of our Cebu trip! Enjoy!!!

 

All my love ♥

Here we go.

Oh wow.

I’m finally here!

After months of overthinking if I should go start blogging, I finally went ahead and did it! A short backstory: This actually isn’t my first rodeo if we count that time where Multiply was where I poured my heart out, posted cringe-worthy photos (I mean what was I thinking?), and tweaked my site with those audio players which automatically played my jam when you visit and who could ever forget those glittery banners?? (now that was pretty cool back then)! Anyway, aside from all that, I remember how I felt solace whenever I turn my desktop on, hear that beeping sound from our then dial-up internet connection and just… write. Or type.

So that brings us to this.

That 16 year-old girl is now 26, just got married and has a fresh pair of eyes. Not literally, although I am still praying for the day when I can finally get some Lasik eye surgery lol.

If you’re my friend or if we follow each other on social media, you might notice how I often have looooong captions on everything or I may seem to just have a lot to share! My lengthy Instagram captions and Facebook posts just don’t cut it for me anymore. I wanted to share more, to show more. You know that feeling when you have an itch at your back that you just can’t seem to scratch? That feeling actually led me to the idea of building my own platform where I can appropriately overshare. Haha! But then again, if you know me, I’m not one to just dive in so it was really a long process for me. It was months of battling with my brain. What if it’s just an itch that will eventually go away? What if no one reads what I have to say? What if I get judged for something that I wrote?. I fear judgments, criticisms, etc. and when I go online, I understand that I’m running to my fears, probably with flailing arms wide open. I had some pretty late nights and just a few nights ago, I finally made a deal with my nagging brain. I will write to my heart’s delight and not for anyone else. Don’t get me wrong. Blogging is all about sharing experiences and thoughts so that defeats the purpose of what I just said. What I mean is that by putting up this blog, I will try to not always please anyone by staying true to myself, to what I believe in and probably practice the art of IDGAF, as well (God knows how much I struggle with that lol). Win-win. Aside from that, I’m also thinking that this could be my little passion project where I can happily share things that I think would be of help or interest and at the same time, be that girl again who finds solace whenever she turns her laptop on, see that strong WiFi connection, and just… write. Or type.

So expect more posts from me! It may be a funny thing that happened, a special event, a life lesson that I just learned, a restaurant that I’m obsessed with, our recent travel escapade, my holy grail in skincare/makeup, or a precious discovery that I just made! Anything goes, really. And as The Corrs would sing, I promise that with every post, “I”ll give all the love in the world”!

My hugs and kisses to all those lovely people who gave me the nudge to do this. I actually went on Twitter and asked if I should go for it and I honestly did not expect that much people to take time to reply so thank you!

All my love! ♥